A couple of weeks ago, Darby went to a week-long conference. I'm happy that he gets the opportunity to go on trips like that, but I really don't like him being gone. However, I know that moping about it won't help, so I try to look on the bright side when he's gone. I can wake up whenever I want; I can watch whatever I want on TV; I can decide on a whim to go out to dinner with friends, etc., etc. But, even with all of my little pep talks, I still just feel kind of blah when Darby's gone.
I kept asking myself, "Why can't I just enjoy not having to think about anyone but myself for a week?" And then, one day, as I was walking home from the bus stop, feeling mopey that no one would be there to greet me, it hit me. The flip side to not having to think about anyone but myself is that no one's thinking about me. And to me, that about sums up why the benefits of marriage far outweigh any loss of freedom. Sure, there are probably some things I gave up by marrying young. But I can't even begin to explain all of the things I've gained. I have someone at home who cares where I am, who makes sacrifices for me, who is on my team no matter what.
So, I'll still try to make the best of my alone time in the future. But I also won't be so hard on myself when I find that I much prefer interdependence to freedom.