Monday, September 09, 2013

They're ba-ack!

I think I may have written before about my gecko phobia. I know it's totally ridiculous because they can't hurt you, but I really, really hate them. I don't mind spiders or most other bugs, but if I see a gecko, I freak out. One of the wonderful things about living in Illinois was that there were no geckos. I never saw even one in the 5 years we were there. So, I found myself able to laugh a little bit at my former fear.

The other day, Darby walked from our bedroom, through the living room where I was sitting, out the front door, and then back in again. I asked him what he was doing, and he said, "You don't want to know." Then I realized he had been carrying a gecko outside. I freaked out a little bit, but it really didn't bother me too much. I began to imagine that perhaps I had conquered my phobia.

And then Sunday morning happened. I was taking my shower, when I happened to look up on the wall and noticed a gecko just hanging out. I managed not to scream, but hurriedly stepped out of the shower (I did have the presence of mind to step gingerly since my balance at 25 weeks pregnant is even worse than usual), flung open the bathroom door, and whisper-yelled to sleeping Darby, "There's a gecko in the shower." He was none too happy to be awakened in this manner, but valiant gecko warrior that he is, he came in the bathroom, knocked the gecko down with his shoe, and then washed it down the drain. I was really wishing he had caught it, though, because I felt like the gecko might be able to crawl back up the drain. So the rest of the time I was showering, I kept an eye on the drain, on high alert for any sign of his nasty little webbed foot or pointy head.

And now, I feel like I've lost my innocence. Those 5 years I laughed at my gecko phobia were only because there were no geckos around, not because I've made any progress. I cannot describe the total terror I felt when I saw that little guy hanging out on the wall. Now, every time I get in the shower, I have to scan the walls, the edge of the tub, behind the shampoo, etc., to make sure there aren't any geckos waiting to scare me. It's horrible. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm really not. I feel like perhaps I need to go to therapy where I stare at pictures of geckos and maybe even touch one, but I don't see how I could ever do it.

Anyone else have a totally irrational phobia? Or, better yet, have you ever gotten over a phobia? If so, how?

Sunday, September 01, 2013

It's a Boy!

So, this isn't exactly breaking news since we found out a month ago, but I want to make sure I at least get the experience written down while it's still somewhat fresh in my mind.

From pretty early on in the pregnancy, I had a feeling that it was a boy. I can't really explain why, but the feeling just kept getting stronger as time went on. So, I went in to the sonogram feeling pretty confident about what we would find out. Of course, I wouldn't have been upset if we found out it was a girl. In fact, I think I preferred a girl just a little bit---mainly because I feel like I know more about being a girl. Plus, I love pink and other "girly" things. :) But, either way, I knew I would be excited, and was really ready to just find out so we could stop referring to the baby as "it."

I tried to prepare myself mentally for the possibility that the baby might not be cooperating and they might not be able to tell the sex. But inside I knew I would be so disappointed if that happened. We went to the appointment, and, just like the first sonogram, waited FOREVER to be called back. My parents were in town to help us move, so my mom got to come with us, which was really fun. Finally, it was our turn, and the technician spent a long time measuring all of the organs and getting pictures of all the individual body parts. I was trying so hard to be patient because I know that stuff is really important, and I'm grateful they're able to check all of those things, but inside I was dying to ask, "But what about the sex?" It didn't help that the technician kept saying the baby wasn't in a very easy position to see everything, which made me think she maybe couldn't tell. But finally, she asked us if we wanted to know. We said yes, so she moved the wand around and then, without saying anything, typed "BOY" on the screen. Mom and I didn't even notice at first because we were busy talking. Darby was just waiting for us to react. :) When we finally noticed, we were all excited and quickly shared the news with my Dad, Darby's parents, and Hannah and Matt. Mom had prepared a boy gift and a girl gift just for the occasion, which was really sweet.

Since we found out, I've had a few moments of panic where I think, "I don't know anything about being a boy! How can I raise one?" But then I think of all of the awesome boys I know and what a great job their moms have done, and I realize that raising kids is raising kids. You don't have to be a boy to be a boy's mom. (Insightful, I know.) Plus, I happen to have a pretty awesome husband who can clue me in on any boy-specific knowledge I might be lacking.

Now that we know the sex, the name question comes up ALL.THE.TIME. We plan to keep the name a secret, since we've found that most people are more kind with their opinions after the baby is born. However, it's kind of a moot point for now, since we cannot for the life of us come up with a name at all. We had a girl's name almost decided on (which we're saving for the future), but boys' names have proved more difficult. We don't have exactly the same tastes. And it turns out that coming up with names for my actual child is a lot harder than naming my hypothetical children was. So, if you have any great boys' names ideas (that you won't be using yourself), throw them at me.