I am one of those people who has known I wanted kids from a very young age. To me, it was never a question of whether I'd be a mom---just when. And for the past 4 years or so, I've been dreaming about the day that we would start our family. I always imagined loving pregnancy and thought I would walk through each day filled with happiness as I enjoyed my ever-expanding belly.
And, don't get me wrong, I am very happy to be pregnant and am fortunate that, so far, I've had a pretty easy pregnancy. So, I've been surprised that this is not a particularly blissful time in in my life. And most of that has to do with my lack of patience. Somehow, it never crossed my mind that pregnancy is basically 9 months of waiting. And waiting is one of my least favorite things! When I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't wait until we could tell people. When we told our parents, I couldn't wait to tell Hannah and Matt. When we told Hannah and Matt, I couldn't wait for the ultrasound and to tell everyone. When we had the ultrasound, I couldn't wait to start showing. Now that I'm showing, I can't wait to feel the baby kick and to find out the sex. And on and on and on. I've realized it's never-ending.
I feel like this is a good experience for me because it puts in sharp relief a problem that I've known about for a long time. I do not live in the moment well. I'm always looking forward to the next thing. And while I think that is sometimes a good thing because it keeps me motivated, it can also get in the way of my day-to-day happiness. So, I'm trying (and mainly failing, but trying) to take things one day at a time and enjoy the current stage I'm in. After all, I'm sure there will come a day when I'll regret wishing that my belly was bigger so everyone would know I was pregnant, not just pudgy. There will be plenty of time for the world to see that I'm pregnant, I'm sure. :)