Thursday, July 11, 2013

The waiting is the hardest part

I am one of those people who has known I wanted kids from a very young age. To me, it was never a question of whether I'd be a mom---just when. And for the past 4 years or so, I've been dreaming about the day that we would start our family. I always imagined loving pregnancy and thought I would walk through each day filled with happiness as I enjoyed my ever-expanding belly.

And, don't get me wrong, I am very happy to be pregnant and am fortunate that, so far, I've had a pretty easy pregnancy. So, I've been surprised that this is not a particularly blissful time in in my life. And most of that has to do with my lack of patience. Somehow, it never crossed my mind that pregnancy is basically 9 months of waiting. And waiting is one of my least favorite things! When I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't wait until we could tell people. When we told our parents, I couldn't wait to tell Hannah and Matt. When we told Hannah and Matt, I couldn't wait for the ultrasound and to tell everyone. When we had the ultrasound, I couldn't wait to start showing. Now that I'm showing, I can't wait to feel the baby kick and to find out the sex. And on and on and on. I've realized it's never-ending.

I feel like this is a good experience for me because it puts in sharp relief a problem that I've known about for a long time. I do not live in the moment well. I'm always looking forward to the next thing. And while I think that is sometimes a good thing because it keeps me motivated, it can also get in the way of my day-to-day happiness. So, I'm trying (and mainly failing, but trying) to take things one day at a time and enjoy the current stage I'm in. After all, I'm sure there will come a day when I'll regret wishing that my belly was bigger so everyone would know I was pregnant, not just pudgy. There will be plenty of time for the world to see that I'm pregnant, I'm sure. :)


Kalyn Gensic said...

Speaking of showing, is there any chance that a belly bump picture could be shared via blog, facebook, or a private email? I would personally get a kick out of it. I bet you are just adorable!

Mica said...

We are so alike, no wonder we're friends! I was just having a continued and drawn-out revelation of the same thing yesterday. (That I'm having a hard time living in the moment on this trip and forgetting my anticipation of getting a job.)

Maybe you could write down (or blog?) more about the things you're enjoying (or, uh, not) right now, at any given moment during the pregnancy. It would be fun to look back on these reflections once you have your baby in hand!

Clint and Whitney said...

One of the best gifts I received when I was pregnant with Finn was a pregnancy journal. It had a space for the date, the weather that day, how I was feeling, what I was craving, my fears and what I was doing to prepare. Plus a place to record what happened at my doc appointments and miscellaneous. It was a great gift because it helped me stay in the moment and record my pregnancy almost day by day. I still flip through it and used to compare my second pregnancy with my first.

So happy for you! :)

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