A Culinary Disaster

I volunteered to help make food for my friend Kalyn's art gallery opening (which is tonight at 7 p.m. in Shore Art Gallery, by the way). I was supposed to make a triple recipe of sausage balls. So I went to Wal-Mart and bought 3 pounds of sausage, 3 pounds of cheese, and Bisquick. I've never made sausage balls before, so I found a recipe in one of my many cookbooks. I started browning two pounds of the sausage. Brittany said, "You don't have to brown the sausage, do you?" I told her that's what the recipe said, and she said her mom never did it that way. This should have been my first clue, but foolishly putting all my faith in the recipe, I kept going. So I add the Bisquick to the sausage and start mixing. I realize it's going to be really dry and not stick together at all. Clue #2. The recipe says to melt the cheese, so I figure the melted cheese will help it stick. So I melt close to two pounds of grated cheese in the microwave. When I pull it out, it is one big, gooey glob. This should have been clue number three, but I kept going, pouring it into the sausage. That was dumb. The spoon would hardly even move through the cheese. After ten minutes of valiant effort in my extremely hot kitchen. (By now, the oven's been preheating for close to an hour), I give up. So, at 10 p.m., I'm off to United for two more pounds of sausage and cheese.

This story does have a happy ending. The second and third batches of sausage balls turned out well. (I let Brittany direct me). I will be rushing home at 5 today to make one last batch before the show. I just couldn't finish last night. (Kalyn, if you are reading this, you don't have to pay for all the sausage and cheese I wasted). Everyone has to have at least one cooking disaster, I guess. And mine naturally had to happen at 10 p.m. when I was trying to cook for 100+ people.