I think I may have written before about my gecko phobia. I know it's totally ridiculous because they can't hurt you, but I really, really hate them. I don't mind spiders or most other bugs, but if I see a gecko, I freak out. One of the wonderful things about living in Illinois was that there were no geckos. I never saw even one in the 5 years we were there. So, I found myself able to laugh a little bit at my former fear.
The other day, Darby walked from our bedroom, through the living room where I was sitting, out the front door, and then back in again. I asked him what he was doing, and he said, "You don't want to know." Then I realized he had been carrying a gecko outside. I freaked out a little bit, but it really didn't bother me too much. I began to imagine that perhaps I had conquered my phobia.
And then Sunday morning happened. I was taking my shower, when I happened to look up on the wall and noticed a gecko just hanging out. I managed not to scream, but hurriedly stepped out of the shower (I did have the presence of mind to step gingerly since my balance at 25 weeks pregnant is even worse than usual), flung open the bathroom door, and whisper-yelled to sleeping Darby, "There's a gecko in the shower." He was none too happy to be awakened in this manner, but valiant gecko warrior that he is, he came in the bathroom, knocked the gecko down with his shoe, and then washed it down the drain. I was really wishing he had caught it, though, because I felt like the gecko might be able to crawl back up the drain. So the rest of the time I was showering, I kept an eye on the drain, on high alert for any sign of his nasty little webbed foot or pointy head.
And now, I feel like I've lost my innocence. Those 5 years I laughed at my gecko phobia were only because there were no geckos around, not because I've made any progress. I cannot describe the total terror I felt when I saw that little guy hanging out on the wall. Now, every time I get in the shower, I have to scan the walls, the edge of the tub, behind the shampoo, etc., to make sure there aren't any geckos waiting to scare me. It's horrible. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm really not. I feel like perhaps I need to go to therapy where I stare at pictures of geckos and maybe even touch one, but I don't see how I could ever do it.
Anyone else have a totally irrational phobia? Or, better yet, have you ever gotten over a phobia? If so, how?