Tuesday, October 16, 2012


As I've mentioned several times before, I try to keep this blog relatively upbeat. I want to be honest, but I also think it can be a little dangerous to share negative emotions online. When I'm angry or sad, I tend to exaggerate. I don't want that stuff to be out there forever. But, sometimes there are things that are too much a part of my life not to share. (Note: I try hard to never share anyone else's bad news, even if it affects me. I think it's up to each person what they want to share.)

So, now that the huge disclaimer is through, I can get on to the point of this post. Darby and I decided about a week ago to stop attending the church we've been going to for the past 4 years. I won't go into all the reasons for our decision, but, of course, I'm fine with talking about it privately.

It was not an easy decision, and I knew there would be challenges, but I've been surprised at just how sad I've been. In a way, I think it's a lot like a break-up. I know it was a good decision but it doesn't mean I don't miss it. We have so many friends there. Of course, we'll still spend time with the people we were close to, but it's not the same as having a guaranteed time to see them several times a week. And it feels so weird to not be there at our usual times --- Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night . . . not to mention the many weekend activities.

Of course, we're planning to visit other churches, but Darby's out of town this week, and I just couldn't make myself go alone. And there's part of me that thinks: Am I ready to commit again? If I'm being really honest, I'll just say that I am so tired. I know being a part of a faith community is important, and it's not supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows. But, I am drained. Any advice from those of you who have been through this? How did you start over?


courtney rebecca said...

Hi Kayla! I have no advice, but just wanted to say that Jason and I are going through the exact same thing. We left our church of 2 years this summer and we are still searching for a new one. It's hard to figure out what will be right for us, especially since we used to be in ministry. I know we just know each other a little from ACU and Westgate, but if you want to talk about it, let me know. We are right there with you, and in a place far from family just like you and Darby!

Erin said...

We've been searching for a new church for about a year, and it's been hard. I knew that I couldn't grow or feel comfortable raising a family at Northside, so even though it's the right decision it still hurts. You'll find the right one, I know it. It will take some time.

Polly Jones said...

Kayla, I wish you the best in finding a new church home. It is traumatic to make that kind of decision. We've done it before too and, found that God blesses the kind of courage it takes to make changes for spiritual growth.

Kalyn Gensic said...

Honestly, I'm still grieving over Farmington. By some stroke of luck, I've never been through a traditional break up, but I do feel like leaving a church home has to be very similar. You know that they aren't all bad, and you know that the things that originally drew you to them are still there, but you also know that it just isn't going to work anymore. You did the brave and honest thing leaving, but I know it is difficult. We'll keep praying for you as you navigate finding a new place to worship. Love you!