Friday, June 26, 2009

Kitchen Fail

There is this hilarious blog I discovered called Craft Fail, where, as the name implies, people post pictures and stories of their failed craft projects. It's always good for a laugh, and it usually makes me feel better about myself, as most all crafts I attempt are "fails."

I think there should be a kitchen fail blog. (Maybe there is one that I don't know about.) Until I find one, I'll just post my own story here. My mom once told me that she enjoys hearing about my kitchen mess-ups, since, according to her, I don't mess up enough (with my cooking...she didn't specify other areas). This one is not as bad as my sausage-ball incident, but it probably is the most number of mistakes I've ever made in one recipe. Feel free to add any of your own kitchen mishaps in the comments; it'll make me feel better.

In preparing for Darby's parents to come, I decided I should probably offer them something for breakfast besides dry cereal. I've been wanting to make this coffee cake from Smitten Kitchen for quite some time. It seemed simple enough, and I was super excited to use my new kitchen scale to precisely measure the flour.

I had already decided to substitute blueberries for rhubarb, and light brown sugar for dark brown sugar. Little did I know that those changes were just the tip of the iceberg.

I dole out 1 3/4 cup flour, mix the dry ingredients together, and get ready to mix the wet ingredients. Uh-oh. The recipe calls for one egg and one egg yolk. I only have one egg. After some Googling, I decide that I can substitute 1/4 c. applesauce for the egg yolk.

I mix the wet and dry ingredients together and notice that the mixture seems a little dry. So, I go back and re-read the direction. Uh-oh again. The 1 3/4 c. flour was for the crumb topping. The cake was only supposed to have 1 c. flour. So I add a little milk.

As I'm making the crumb topping, I realize that I put an extra 2 tbsp. of butter in the cake batter, which is why it only seemed a little dry, not super dry, I guess. I have no idea how my ratio of wet/dry ingredients compares to the actual recipe. Uh-0h #3. I decide to just go with it.

I stir together the flour, sugar, and spices for the crumb topping. I'm about to pour in the melted butter, when I read that I was supposed to mix the sugar and butter together, then stir in the flour. Uh-oh #4. I go ahead and pour the butter in. The topping is supposed to come together like a solid dough, which you then break apart. It doesn't. At this point, I'm afraid to add more butter. Also, I'm lazy and just want to be done. So I just sprinkle the topping over the cake and put it in the oven.

Amazingly, after all of that, the cake was still edible, although a little dry. I feel like I have to make the cake again, though, since I pretty much have no idea what the actual recipe would taste like. I also feel like I should perhaps learn how to read recipes. :)


Carolyn said...

I went to make the cheesecake topped brownies a few weeks ago and thought I remembered you just make the brownie mix like usual, then add the cheesecake topping. Halfway through the brownie's bake time, I actually checked the recipe and realized there was an egg in with the cream cheese and it's supposed to be baked WITH the brownies. I took the brownies out of the oven, mixed the cheesecake topping super fast, put it on, then put it back in the oven. They still turned out ok, but not nearly as good as if I had actually read the directions first. And I've messed up many other times before. That's just the freshest in my memory!

Sallie said...

That is too hilarious! Too bad you don't have neighbors you can call to borrow just about anything. The other day I was making the English Muffin bread and realized I forgot to put the 2 tbs. of sugar in. I was afraid it wouldn't rise, so I took it out of the loaf pans and attempted to mix the sugar in with the dough. What resulted was a slightly sugary crust to the bread. Dad and Hannah actually liked it better that way--me, not so much!